Love is magical but love is also a force. A force that breaks down walls and ego. It is something that can either make or break us as it is not just simply an emotion, rather it is a daily & powerful choice of the heart. Sometimes, we get to a point where we feel that our relationship is on the rocks or we think that we or our partners are not as invested as before? When it comes to relationships, human as we are, we naturally get paranoid with a lot of things.
I am no expert in love or relationships and even though i oftentimes learn the hard way, i believe my journey has taught me the magic ingredients in a happy marriage or relationship.
Here are my top 3 Do’s and Dont’s to make a relationship or marriage work.
1. Do Trust in all levels. TRUST is one of the keystones in a relationship. Without it, insecurity and paranoia will creep in. To build trust, start by simply being HONEST to your partner and most especially to yourself. Never keep secrets. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind but be mindful that being honest doesn’t give you a license to hurt your partner. Honesty comes together with kindness. Sometimes how we say things can also make a huge difference.
2. Do compliment each other. Appreciate your partner. Compliment is not only some verbal praise of how your partner looks, it is also showing that you believe and support your partner in everything they do and just simply acknowledging their efforts. It is a way of showing that you actually care and that you pay attention to what your partner does.
3. Do listen. Be your partner’s best friend. Listen to his/her whims, rants and success. Sometimes you don’t even need to say a word, just be there and listen. Always make a habit to ask your partner about how his/her day went. Invest time and communicate often.
1. Don’t expect too much. Acknowledge the little things your partner do and can’t do. Embrace each other’s weaknesses and strengths. Many marriages falter because of too much expectations even in the simplest circumstances, like anticipating a meal when you get home, expecting gifts on special occasions, remembering anniversaries or even hoping to hear all the right words from your partner especially in the middle of an arguement or squabble. The truth is nobody’s perfect. Expecting so much from your partner will needlessly disappoint you and will only put a lot of pressure on the relationship.
2. Don’t compare. I know its tempting to compare our lives with everyone else’s especially when things are going wrong but remember that every couple has its own pace. You can’t compete with friends having these and that. There will always be a perfect time for everything. Also, never ever compare your partner with someone else especially with someone from his/her past. Don’t forget how and what you started fighting for because remember, where comparison begins, contentment ends.
3. Don’t stop trying. Never stop sweeping your partner off his/her feet. Write love notes, send something special even on random days, watch a movie, go on dates, hold hands, kiss often, give more hugs, cuddle each other, walk in the park and say “i love you” as much as you can.