The past should be left behind and should always stay where it belong but sometimes reflecting about the past is something good for the soul. I was rummaging through old memoirs and i couldn’t stop myself from getting flashbacks and comparing my experiences and my life then and now.
Wow eight years ago.. Eight years! Where did the time even go? So much has happened in my early twenties and i deserve a tap on the back for getting through it all! When i think about my old self, the person i can remember is completely dear to me. She was careless, naive but full of life. She wants to do and get everything at once but sometimes she’s left with nothing in the end.
I want to do this SOOO bad on my 30th but two years take forever to wait! Right? So here we are.
I know how confused you are. You just graduated and you haven’t laid out a perfect plan for your life. You’ve waited for this moment but you are still running in circles. You are scared and too ambivalent about the future but life will surprise you. I know how you despised nursing but guess what, you will love the profession you thought you can’t stand doing. You dream to travel the world? But hey making a career out of that dream won’t work for you. But you will still travel and see beautiful places you can’t even imagine going to before.
I know it feels impossible to imagine your life ahead, more so to imagine a life without your friends. But the best is yet to come! After graduation, most of the friends you know would eventually just turn into acquaintances and worse, into strangers. ( See my post about Why do we lose touch with old friends )
And can i remind you something? You’re too young to know everything about love. Love is FREEDOM and it’s a conscious choice between two people. It entails a LOT of hard work. You can’t force a man to stay despite the distance, the immaturity, the inconstancy, the madness and all the pain, in favour of the wonderful memories you shared together. You can’t give up your goals for his goals. Let him go and you will thank yourself for doing so. And stop looking for a pinch of romance everywhere because love will just find you.
I know how you treasure your family and you would do anything for them. But please do not jeopardize your career and even your future just to please them. You will not be happy and you will still end up disappointing them.
In between all the chaos and confusion, you will meet your soulmate. No one would ever imagine to put the two of you together but he would fit the missing pieces, as you would to him. It will hit like a lightning bolt and he will dust the cobwebs off the old you. You will be vulnerable but you will smile again, laugh harder and live wiser. You will go through a lot of challenges, but he will be your constant at your weakest, at your craziest and strongest. You will appreciate and love him even more when you see yourself powerless, intoxicated with anesthetic in a hospital bed while trying to survive.
And one more thing, just because you think your body can handle anything, you can eat crap all the time and abuse your body. Please take care of your health. At the age of 28, you will be confronted with a “daunting experience” that will change your life in the most unimaginable way but will eventually make you stronger and more grateful. So prepare yourself and make peace with your body as early as now.
Sometimes your decisions will be clouded by your emotions. But kick the crippling fear out in your life and do not ever punish yourself for your mistakes. Trust me, the bad decisions you will make will be your guide towards achieving the best times of your life. You will still cry, harder than you ever did before. You will still get frustrated. You will still commit mistakes but learn from them. Enjoy the confusion and the clarity. Always be open to new possibilities as that will lead you to a life much better than you could’ve ever planned for yourself.
Your future self
P.S. Let me know about your thoughts and don’t forget to leave some love❤️